In the pursuit of hairlessness pt 1


Mr Bigglesworth before he grew up and met Dr Evil

Lately I’ve been spending some cash on the parts of me where the sun don’t shine.

Yup, I decided it was finally time to take that laser beam to the crotch, and started shopping around for a place to do Brazilian IPL.

So far I’ve gone for trial sessions at 2 different places, and will probably go for 2 more trials at 2 different places before I decide which one to give a big chunk of my money to, since the general consensus is that most women require at least 12 – 18 sessions to reach hairlessness.

If you’ve never gone for IPL before, the standard procedure usually involves the therapist shaving off all the hair in that area and applying a cold gel to the skin before they start zap-zapping at it. I’ve done IPL hair removal very successfully on my underarms, so I’m pretty familiar with the whole thing.

I actually consider the underarm IPL one of the best beauty investments I ever made… because I now have the silky, bare armpits of a 10-year old. In fact, they could probably star in their own whitening deodorant commercials, I’m that happy with them! They’re pale, even-toned, and virginal-looking, (as if nothing ever grew out of them before) basically everything that I want my bikini line to look like!

So about a month ago, I went for session #1 at the most well-known hair removal joint in town.

I was really nervous since it was my virgin Brazilian IPL session cause I thought it was going to be really painful… but it was a breeze and I hardly felt a thing! I walked out feeling smooth and happy. And then regrowth hit me with a vengeance just 36 short hours later. So much for slower hair growth.. Oh, hello attractive crotch stubble that doesn’t itch at all!

But I did also notice that little hairs were spontaneously falling off after about a week, so something must have been working at least.

Fast forward to about two weeks ago, I did session #2. This time, at an aesthetics salon. Ironically, I was under the impression that it would also be painless at this second place due to the many positive “All I felt was a warm sensation, omg Brazilian IPL is so painless!” blog reviews I’d read.

Dude, this time it hurt like a mofo.

Either all those blog reviewers were lying through their (gritted) teeth, or the salon has since changed the settings on their IPL machine from ‘Walk in the park’ to “Advanced terrorist interrogation technique’.

Okay, so PMS week was obviously the wrong time to go too. But even if I gave the pain a 20% discount, it would still have been painful!

They gave the whole spiel too about how their machine is clinical-grade and thus more effective (and painful), so it had better bloody be true because I got suckered into buying 2 more sessions.

On a positive note, this time regrowth has been really slow. I’ve yet to notice any fall-out, but that might be because only about 40% has grown back. Hurrah!

I’ll probably fix another trial session at the next place in a week or so. After that I should have better results to report (not that you really wanted to know anything about my crotch in the first place) and Gawd, I really hope it won’t feel like I’m being systematically tortured again…


About Chwenny

Body, soul, and pole!
This entry was posted in I'm just saying.. and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to In the pursuit of hairlessness pt 1

  1. ohmissfolly says:

    I guess moral of the story is:
    No pain, no gain.

  2. Michaela says:

    I get laser braz done (except for a triangle at the front). I think IPL lasers aren’t as strong as medical grade lasers though? I only have to do 7 treatments. I’m up to 6 and all the hair has been pretty much gone since treatment number 4. Maybe have a look around and see if any of the better lasers are available in your area?

  3. jaclyn says:

    stick to strip (i assume you were referring to them in trial #1). the experience is always almost painless for me. i say almost because there are days when…well, certain spots might hurt for a second. but what’s a second of pain? i swear brazilian IPL is god sent. as awesome as how you described underarm IPL!

    • Chwenny says:

      Yea I like them but they’re soooooo exp! How many sessions did you do? They told me the average was 18 – 20!

      • jaclyn says:

        well it varies from person to person i guess! probably 10 or 12? it was some time back. i have a maintenance package now but i hardly use it!

  4. e** says:

    did you you get anaesthetic cream put on the bits that you were going to get lasered? apart from my lady bits, i’ve also done underarm, lower legs (although, like most asians, i’m not terribly hirsute anyway). underarms and lower legs hurt a little bit, but i bore with the pain, but definitely i went for anaesthetic cream for the sensitive parts!

    basically, they put a thick-ish, even layer of cream on, then leave you for 45 minutes or so, to get the area all nice and numb before lasering it. i still felt some twinges, but it was definitely much better than without it. i can’t imagine doing it without the cream… poor thing. that must’ve been awful!

    i only needed 6 sessions (but i think they ramped up the laser intensity quite quickly to achieve that), and since then it’s been nice and breezy. i haven’t needed to maintain at all. if the odd weed grows back, i just tweeze it.

    • Chwenny says:

      Oh hell No, they did not offer any anesthetic cream!! I don’t think they even have any since topical anesthetics are classified under ‘drugs’ and not ‘cosmetics’ and require more complex product licences here. It’s way more ghetto in the sense that the cold gel is all that goes between lasers and lady bits! I’m working up the nerve to head back next week cos the results have been fantastic so far. Sigh.. The gain’s relative to the pain in this case…

      • e* says:

        oh wow… that’s crazy scary. if i didn’t get the anaesthetic cream, no way i would have done it i think. i’m a wuss.

        no wonder your salons in singapore say it takes 12-18 sessions… i guess, they apply a very low laser intensity to start with, and slowly raise it progressively. the higher the intensity, the more hairs get zapped effectively. good way to string the treatment out and make more money!

        i really enjoy my new-found breeziness. but i’m cringing just imagining it without the cream. that’s very brave.. good luck for next week!

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