No, I’m not even talking about the growing army of 6″ stripper heels at the back of your closet which you happen to need in clear, black, pink, red, white, silver, sparkly and thigh high, nor the heaps and piles of Victoria Secret undies and swim wear, or the sea of cheap black booty shorts from every conceivable brand, or even the impressive range of grip aids you might have gone through by now.
And I’m definitely not talking about extra private classes, unnecessary but gorgeous photoshoots, or the countless weekly studio practice bookings that slowly but surely all add up.
Cos those I know we willingly pay for.
I’m talking about those bloody regular body massages / physiotherapy / chiropractor / osteopathy / acupuncture sessions that you need to ‘get fixed’ with, now that you work out even more than your significant other does.
I’ve done the gamut from physios, to traditional Chinese massage, to falling asleep on my tennis ball, all in the name of preserving my back / shoulders / hips / whichever other body part feels achey and wonky.
And I’m in complete denial about how much I’ve spent on them in the past year or so.
I’m in even more denial about how many more I’ll inevitably need as I continue to progress, and Gawd, it’s just exasperating sometimes! Especially when your regular masseuse happens to be off just when you’re in dire need of someone familiar to dig their elbow into the side of your ass on a Thursday evening.
Which, I suppose is at least better than needing someone to dig their elbow into the side of your ass on a Friday evening, which might interfere with your scheduled pole class.
Also, I know most of the time it’s rest and restraint that helps the most, but every once in a while I feel the need to pay top dollar for the peace of mind that comes with a health care professional telling me that I’m perfectly fine and that rest and restraint will help me the most.
Fortunately, this is not one of those days.
But seriously, doesn’t my lower back know by now that I could buy 5 sessions of pole practice with the amount of cash needed for the 1-hour massage that it takes for me to keep it happy?! Geezuz!