Wax-ing lyrical

A pole dancer's best friend

So… My belief is that if you’re going to take up pole dancing lessons and be gleefully a-spreadin’ those legs in the air in a tiny pair of shorts (or less!), it’s only pole-lite to make sure that you keep those hedges neat and tidy.

Personally, I’ve always been a fan of the Brazilian wax. Much like pole dancing, all it took was just one session for me to start asking myself where it had been all my life. Come to think about it, both getting waxed and pole dancing require you to suffer some pain before you get impressive results. And maintaining those results also requires regular commitment.

Lately I’ve even been contemplating the idea of taking a laser beam to the crotch (yes, I really just said that) but the high cost is rather prohibitive. Still, it might just be the best personal investment I make next to installing a pole in my living room… I’ve already subjected my armpits to the systematic annihilation of hair that is IPL, (thanks Groupon!) and it’s produced some pretty amazing results.

But I digress.

Anyway, the other day I was both tickled and relieved when I overheard the pre-class briefing during lesson 1 at the inter 1 level:

“Girls, now that you’ve moved up from beginners, you’re going to start learning how to go upside down. Which means you’re personal areas are going to be much more visible in certain positions. So please shave or wax before coming to class, and make sure that your instructors and the partners helping you don’t have to see anything they’d rather not see!”

Lol! Hey you’d make that announcement too, if it meant you could avoid being turned to stone by the Medusa! One of the very real occupational hazards of being a pole dancing instructor is the risk of getting half-blinded by the sight of hairy punani on a regular basis.

And as funny as I found it, I’m all for having important issues spelled out in these situation. It relieves everyone from the burden of assumption, the embarrassment of making potentially cringe-worthy mistakes, and the extreme awkwardness of maybe even having to address them later.

But hey, sometimes its just not convenient to chase those nether regions with a razor, if you forgot to make that waxing appointment. So what’s a girl (or guy) to do?

Well simple. It’s called: wear longer shorts.

For the love of all mankind and your other pole classmates!

About Chwenny

Body, soul, and pole!
This entry was posted in I'm just saying.. and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Wax-ing lyrical

  1. Made me laugh! The medusa! Lol

    Speaking of smaller shorts bet they didn’t give you this warning in class… One of my old instructors, back in the early days when she was learning herself, managed to get into such a small pair of shorts and elaborate move she somehow managed to catch and tear one of her ‘lady lips’ on the pole! :s

    God only knows what move and how the hell it happened but it’s one of those stories that makes you cringe so bad!!!

  2. Lori Myers says:

    Girl, I cannot stop giggling. Now I’m having nightmares of medusa punanis coming at me. lol!!

  3. Ange Gos says:

    I lol’d. When I first took up pole fitness I weighed 325 pounds. Someone asked me what I would do about being in the teeny shorts and I replied, “I’ll shave that bridge when I come to it as I won’t even be climbing for months.” Those months passed really quickly, but I can say that I prefer shorts of the more coverage variety because I’m old and the thought of some tiny Asian lady, hot wax and the sounds of my screams of pain haunt me… really, really haunt me.

  4. Nielle says:

    Hahahaah! Cracked me up….go for IPL at Strip babe! It’s close to painless. I did my 3rd session and The Medusa has gone pretty bald by now. Happy days 🙂

  5. Chwenny says:

    Glad you guys had a lil giggle! Right now I”m saving up for Brazilian IPL, trying to stop picturing disturbing Medusa punanis coming after me, and trying to stop shuddering over the freaky ‘lady lips’ story!!!!

    And Ange, if it’s any consolation I’m sure the tiny Asian lady will at least coo at you soothingly as you scream 🙂

  6. Po.lita says:

    Lol nice one!

  7. e* says:

    i’ve done the laser / IPL thing… and it’s just such a great feeling never having to worry anymore about whether i’m going to blind someone when i’m wearing a bikini etc. i should’ve done it way earlier, and can highly recommend!

    but it really hurts though.. so definitely choose the option of having an anaesthetic cream applied!

  8. e* says:

    i finished my series like april 2011 or so (i only did 5 sessions instead of the recommended 6), and only one hair has grown back in the cleared zone since then!

  9. verucablue says:

    So funny cause I am a Brazilian wax girl and I laser my under arms…was just thinking the same thing – I should bite the bullet and get a Brazilian laser but the PAIN…the PAIN – I am such a wuss!

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