The feature in my living room

Yesterday someone from a local women’s magazine called me to ask about my pole at home. “Oh cool” I thought, “pole dancing is getting more attention in local mainstream women’s media!”

Then she asked if I use it to improve my sex life.

No honey… my pole’s in my very open living room, not my bedroom. And my 89-year old grandmother who lives with us wakes up multiples times at night to use the common bathroom… I don’t want to shock her to death!!!

Turns out that the magazine was looking for quotes from people who ‘kinkify’ their homes to improve their sex life, not for women who pole dance per se. “..or do you know anyone who has, say, mirrors all over the ceiling?” she asked.

Thing is, while I do think pole dancing has improved my sex life, it’s not in the way that people immediately think. So I couldn’t give her the kind of quotes she was looking for.

I tried to explain that yes, dancing with my pole at home is a very sexy experience… but it’s also a very personal one. Whenever I just dance sexy without any tricks and slither around my pole and the floor with the lights down low, it’s when I’m all by myself, and its solely for me to indulge in the movements of my own sensuous expression.

And sensuality is a different thing altogether from sexuality.

I don’t dance sensuously cos I’m horny, and I don’t get horny from dancing sensuously either.

I do get a lot more comfortable with my sexuality as a whole, and a lot more body-confident. I can also move dirty without feeling dirty.

And anyone who truly understands that will know that if you don’t, a pole in the room or mirrors on your ceiling aren’t really going to do anything.