Ah, shoes… every girl I know has a weakness for them. Doesn’t matter if you’re into flip flops, skyscrapers, sneakers, or boots, shoe shopping is one of life’s little pleasures. Or dangers, depending on your credit balance.
The first time I stepped foot into Bobbi’s pole studio, the thing that struck me was the crazy-ass, 5-inch, 6-inch, 7-inch.. high platform heels everyone was wearing. Uh, can you say stripper-fabulous???
At first, I resisted.
Mainly cos I was too cheap to blow upwards of $100 on a pair of shoes I’d probably never wear outside the studio. Plus being 1.71m tall already, I hardly ever wear anything higher than a Havaiana. So not practical!
So I dug out some old heels from the back of my wardrobe, thinking how perfect it was to finally use them and not have to fork out any extra cash. They were 4″ high black slingbacks, with a sexy, clear toe strap and a section near the heel where you could loop ribbons through to tie around the ankle. I even bought new ribbons to channel some ballerina glam. All set for my first class. I felt quite clever!
After the class, I noticed that the base of the heels had cracked off, leaving me tottering on just the screw that holds them in place. Fine, trying to wind half a meter of ribbon round my ankle then not getting it tangled round the pole wasn’t that convenient anyway.
The second pair of heels were gifts that were never worn before: 3/1/2″ high barbie-pink, patent pumps with bows on the sides. Those at least lasted til the end of Beginner’s term, but had an annoying habit of slipping off the back of my foot. Plus they were starting to get sweaty. (ergh) And the patent started cracking around the toe. And the bows were going lopsided.
Enter my worn-only-once, 3/3/4″ high wedding shoes! Lovely brown strappy sandals with wooden heels. By the time I completed my first round of intermediate 1, the soles had split open, the straps were stretched out, and the arches sagged and bent with every other step. Good thing I’m not getting married in them anymore.
By then, I caved and ordered a pair of 5″ clear, strappy Pleasers. I’d finally figured out why strippers and pole dancers wear stripper heels: those things are made to withstand serious abuse! No other shoes can survive the kind of crashes, bashes, jumps, lands, knocks, and spins the way a solid perspex base can.
And the insoles are padded and cushiony! And the arches will absolutely not bend in the middle! And skid marks from the floor can be wiped right off the plastic toe and ankle straps! And the platform toe multi-tasks as emergency brakes when you’re spinning too fast!
So I converted.
But I swore I was way too tall for anything higher than 5″. Then I got boots that were 5/1/5″. And now I’m lemming for that pink pair that only comes in 6″.
Sigh. So much for practicality…